Compliment Your Child - Positive Reinforcement
Do you know how to compliment your child? Strangely enough, many parents don't. If you never heard anything except criticism and negative comments growing up, you need to learn the words and actions in order to build the self esteem and character of your child.
Say words to show you care: Wow-Way to go-I trust you-You are fun to be with-Well done-You mean a lot to me-You are really a good friend-Hey, you figured it out, I knew you would-I have confidence in you-You make me so happy-You make me laugh with your jokes-That is neat handwriting-You are really getting better at that-You are really on your way-Good for you-I was proud of you today-That was hard and you did it anyway-That was great to see you keep trying-You really showed how kind you were today-You mean a lot to me-Excellent job-You really know how to listen-You really brighten my day-It is such a pleasure to see how you treat other people-You are on your way-Good job-You have the secret-Hurrah for you-You are such a sharp dresser-What an imagination-You're growing up-I really respect you-Thanks for being you-Awesome.
Combine the compliment with a smile or hug
Verbal language is the communication of information and may not always be heard or remembered. Body language is the communication of relationships and will be stored in minds and hearts long after the actual fact. By combining a hug, pat on the back or warm touch on the arm to indicate approval, you have extended the life of a compliment forever. Remember, it is not how you feel about your child; it is how your child perceives you feel about him that is important.
Look for the positive
For every thing a child does wrong, he or she does 19 things right! Don't just focus on what needs correcting, but on what needs encouraging. Try to see how many nice things you say to your child and your self in a 24 hour period. By acknowledging your own successes, you help your child to look for the positive and recognize when things go right. I challenge you to compliment his or her efforts at least 6 times a day.
You can do it. I believe in you.
Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, family coach, and personal historian who has written more than 20 books, hundreds of articles and speaks internationally on family issues, including end of life. You are invited to visit our blog at www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you at www.ArtichokePress.com.
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