A Murder In Jonesboro Georgia And Media Frenzy

A father of Pakistani descent is accused of killing her 25-year old daughter for refusing to go back to her husband to whom his parents had "arranged" her marriage. Few details are known at this time other than that she wanted a divorce.

The neighbors of the family speak highly about the family but others have started maligning Pakistan and issuing judgments on the practice of "arranged marriages" prevalent in Pakistan and Pakistani-American community. This is shear ignorance and prejudice about a culture and tradition that has more positives than negatives.

Pakistanis who are mostly Muslims consider premarital sex a "sin" and discourage dating in the sense that Western culture considers a norm. However, it is becoming common for young people of opposite sex to meet each other at family gatherings, institutions of higher education, and work place. They also have the liberty to meet each other socially and to meet at public places. Yet, when it comes to marriage it is their parents who "arrange" their wedding unless they have a cause to object. It is in lower middle class families that it is mostly the parents who "arrange" the match between to-be couple and most of them live happily there after. Still the woman has every right to say "no" to the proposal. The divorce is common even between those who marry for love in all cultures. More than 50 percent of marriages in the Western culture end up in divorce and it is not uncommon for men and women to marry two to three times for love and still cannot make it work.

Divorce rates are also rising in traditional cultures and it is no longer considered a stigma. However, it is much less common among couples who are members of an extended family and support from family members and timely intervention by elders, cool things down before it comes to a divorce. The "arranged marriage" protects the couple from falling into a trap since families in many cases know each other for generations. Also in a traditional culture women marry into a joint family where everyone keeps an eye on each other. There is generally a family patriarch who is the "guardian" of the couples and arbiter of any disputes.

Until the facts come out one can only guess that the father and the daughter had a heated argument when the father could not control his anger. How the girl actually died is also unclear - it may be an accident since the father suffered from a seizer and was hospitalized. Now he is awaiting his "day in court" and let us hold our judgment.

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There are (10) Comments

Posted By: Melisa Date: July 8, 2008

Are you kidding me? How am I supposed to believe all that "it's just the culture of the poor", "they're just really conservative", and "the woman has every right ot say 'no'", when you surmise (after admitting many details are not known) that the father suffered a seizer [sic] and strangled a 25-year old relative by accident.

First, you spend two paragraphs justifying honor killings by setting up the scene so that Islam is doing women a big favor by protecting her, (with a patriarch no less...to solve disputes in her marriage!), lying about the divorce rate in "Western" culture, and showing the civilized world the error of their ways for thinking they could possibly marry outside their little inter-generational clans.

Then, Oops! He accidentally killed her probably, we shouldn't judge.

And you're wrong, he is charged with murder. You are the one linking his motive to honor killing. Not a difficult stretch to motive, given your bluster on "culture" that follows.

Taqiyya.

Posted By: ebonystone Date: July 8, 2008

Dr. B., I just took a look at the link you provided, and the writer, one Mohammed Zaheer, was fair enough as far as he went. Yes, people from other cultures have family disputes that end in death, and many arranged marriages turn out quite well, and divorce is too commonplace in non-arranged marriages, etc, etc.
But Mr. Zaheer only went so far. He omitted to say that fatal marital disputes in families from other cultures usually consist of one spouse killing the other. Only in Islam does it so often take the course of a male of the household (father, brother, uncle, or combination of these) killing an adult (or nearly adult) female of the household.

Posted By: Doctor Bulldog Date: July 8, 2008

ebonystone,

P.S. - That was a nice catch in identifying what he omitted. Kudos!

Cheers

Posted By: zaheer Date: July 8, 2008

Thanks for your thoughtful comments. I did not try to justify father's killing of her own daughter. I just tried to provide some background of the tradition of another culture--good or bad. At no place I called it an "honor killing." Since the murder is still under investigation, no one, not even the police, knows why and what actually happened. Unfortunately it takes a long time for people to shed their bias and prejudice against other cultures and recent immigrants. Thousands of murders are committed every single day in America by fathers, mothers (yes even by mothers), brothers, sisters, friends, strangers for sex, money, property, or for no reason at all. No religion or culture is without blood on their hands. However, because of bad press that one particular religion or culture is the target of, even reasonable people believe half truths or even falsehood. I strongly condemn the "honor killing" whosoever does it. I ask you to have an open mind, please.

Posted By: Pak Atlanta Date: July 9, 2008

PAK Atlanta Condemns the murder of a daughter by Father using Honor
as an excuse.

Pak Atlanta fully condemns the actions of a Pakistani father to kill
his daughter using the term "Honor" as the excuse. Islam provides no
excuse for Murder and criminal actions. Pakistani culture has no
place for these Honor killings and we must all stand against
criminals who use this term to justify the criminal actions.

We send our deepest sympathy to the victim's family members and
friends and we are deeply disgraced by the actions of this mad man.

Pak Atlanta highly encourages the Pakistani Americans to show support
to the family and condemn this murder.

We shall not and will not compromise on the human rights specially
the rights of woman in the name of honor.

Sincerely,
Pakistani American Community of Atlanta

Posted By: ABC News Date: July 9, 2008

Here is link to Farooq Soomro from Pakistani American Community of Atlanta explaining to media ABC News.

Posted By: Zaheer Date: July 9, 2008

Farooq that was a pretty good interview of you with ABC News. It was also very courageous of you to acknowledge the problem of honor killing in Pakistan and explaining the excuse people use for it and condemnation by the Islamic scholars plus the fact that Pakistan has laws against it. The only sad thing is that the murderers, in most cases, get away with it.

Posted By: Chet Broadhurst Date: July 11, 2008

Hide behind "it's my culture" or "it's my religion" all you want, these are hate crimes against women. Islam, whatever it may be, is used as a cover for barbaric, tribal customs. "Honor" killings are just one of the more extreme examples of a belief system that encourages the most hateful and pathological need to control the most intimate details of others' lives. Shame on anyone who would excuse such acts as coming from religious or cultural imperatives - even if they do.

Posted By: Zaheer Date: July 11, 2008

Of course "honor killing" is un-Islamic, a barbaric and heinous act, unlawful in Islamic countries, and has no justification at all. If this father has killed his daughter and claims justification to protect his so called "honor" then he must be tried under law and face a punishment that he deserves. But pointing a finger only at Islam and any culture is not fair either. There were and are crimes committed by other religions (including by Christianity--remember inquisitions in Spain?) and culture too. For example, in Hindu culture (even in this day and time) the widow has to be burned alive with the body of her deceased husband--this is called "SATTI"--please check it out.

Posted By: Zaheer Date: July 11, 2008

P.S. Couple of more things. Not long ago people, especially in Salem Massachusetts, were crucifying or hanging innocent women for being "witches." The people of certain color were routinely lynched and hanged by the tree if they just looked at or shook hands with a women of so called "superior" color. What would you call those murders? Weren't they also "honor killings?" Just look inside your own conscience before you cast the first stone.