Joe was already there when Marilyn walked into Starbucks. She spotted him sitting in the corner that looked cozy and inviting-three easy chairs and a coffee table. When Joe saw her he stood and signaled for her to join him.
"Hi Marilyn, how are you? Did you at least get in a nap today?"
"Got in a nap and a workout," she replied. "I see that you already have a cup of coffee, can I get you a refill?"
"No...I'll get yours, what'll you have?"
"Just a black coffee of the day is good for me Joe."
He nodded, "You definitely are a cop, drinking your cup o' joe black. No foofoo drink or latte, or maybe something exotic?"
"No, I'm watching my diet. I've got a contest in a couple of weeks."
"Right...black coffee it is; I'll be right back."
Joe went to get the coffee while Marilyn picked one of the chairs. They're all a little too soft for me she thought, but for the time being it will have to do. He came back with her coffee and a refill for himself, and then picked the chair farthest from her.
"Hey, I thought that we were going to talk. Do I look that intimidating that you have to sit so far away?"
"No...I just didn't want to seem too familiar. And no, you don't look intimidating-you look awesome."
She should she thought-her diet was right on schedule cutting excess fat and bringing her muscles out in bold definition. Once she cut her liquid intake the last week and a half, her skin would be paper thin for the day of the competition. Although the last few weeks before a contest were always the worst in terms of the strict diet, she enjoyed wearing clothes that showed off her physique to the fullest. For today she had chosen her light pink tank and navy blue shorts that rode mi-thigh. "Thanks for noticing Joe."
"You're welcome, but it wasn't only me...everyone in here stopped to look when you walked in-including the women. I'm sitting with a celebrity!"
"Thanks, but I'm not there yet. Maybe if I win the Miss Illinois I'll be on that path, but right now I'm just a simple street cop by night and student by day."
They drank from their cups and sat in momentary silence until Joe spoke. "So...tell me why you wanted to meet for coffee. Did Pete put you up to it?"
"Nobody put me up to anything Joe. I think that you're a great guy and I just wanted to get to know you better. I don't often get to meet single guys, especially as busy as I am. Most of the ones that I do meet aren't exactly looking for the same kind of companionship that I am, if you know what I mean."
"I can just imagine," he said. "But as great as you look, you must have guys after you all the time."
"Not at all; I haven't had many relationships, and the last one ended in disaster."
"Couldn't make a commitment?" Joe asked.
Marilyn paused for a moment, and then decided that if she expected him to be honest with her she would have to be honest as well. "Not exactly...he raped me."
"Oh no; Marilyn I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up anything like that, forgive me for even asking."
"It's alright Joe, I'm working through it. Frankly as bad as it was there's been a lot of good come from it. I re-discovered my faith and I met a woman that has been very inspirational to me. It's like that silver lining in the proverbial dark cloud."
"I'm glad to hear that it hasn't changed you except for the better. You're obviously as strong on the inside as you are on the outside." He paused for a few seconds before saying, "I wish that I could say the same."
Marilyn looked at him..."You don't look like a weak person to me Joe. But you may look like a person that could benefit from a friend that cares about you and wants to help heal your heart."
He had that look again she thought-that beaten down, depressed body language that she saw at Pete's. "Joe, can you bring yourself to just talk to me and tell me what you're feeling? I'd like to help you get past the pain that you're obviously still experiencing. I know that pain; I've been there too many times. But I know that it's also possible to get beyond it-if you want to."
Joe looked up, "How Marilyn...how do I forget about her?"
"You don't Joe; you will never forget her. What you have to do is let go of any guilt that you feel."
He sat back in his chair and began to share. "It was so quick...one day she was there, and then in an instant she was gone. No chance to say goodbye; no chance to tell her that I was sorry."
"Sorry about what Joe?"
"Sorry for causing her to put her dreams on hold for me. She had wanted to get her advanced degree in nursing to further her career. I told her that we couldn't afford it yet-I wanted us to buy a bigger house. Even though I had two Masters Degrees, I selfishly convinced her that she didn't need hers. I never realized how little attention I paid to what she really wanted until she was gone. And the killer is...she never complained."
"She sounds like a beautiful woman Joe, but it's not like you mistreated her. Maybe you should have been more receptive to her, but your marriage was solid wasn't it?"
"Yes, we were married for twelve years, all of them good years-lots of joy and happiness."
"Then there's the answer Joe. You had a great marriage, one that you both obviously embraced and loved. No relationship is perfect. It requires that both people work hard on it each day. What you have to remember is all of those happy times-the love, the laughter, the sharing. To constantly think of the one negative obfuscates all of the joy that you both derived from what sounds like a fantastic marriage. Joe, you have to get beyond it before it becomes so big that it destroys you."
"We did have a great marriage," he said. "We loved each other so much, and I think that's why it's been so difficult. We knew what the other person was about to do or say before they even did it. It was easy, so simple and comfortable to live with her. I looked forward to being with her each day, couldn't wait for the day to end so that we could just lie next to each other and fall asleep. Why did it have to end...?"
Marilyn was close to tears now. "I don't know Joe. Why does God allow things to happen in our lives, good and bad? If I had that answer I guess that I wouldn't be a cop, I'd be a spiritual leader or something. But I do know this...God has plans for all of us, and just like it says in Jeremiah, they are plans not to harm you but to prosper you, to give you hope and a future. You have to work on your future Joe, not your past."
A tear rolled down Joe's face. He sat wringing his hands as if he were trying to squeeze the guilt out from them. "I know that you're right Marilyn. I can honestly say that our marriage was a good one, a blessed one; we had so many gifts from above. My biggest problem is that I've been mad at Him, not wanting to accept that it's His will and not mine. I've been selfish."
"Think about Pat for a moment Joe. Do you think that she would want you to be moping around for two years, being mad at the Father, especially now that she is with Him?"
"Wow, when you put it that way... No, how could I be mad? And believe me; she's with Him for sure. She was such a spiritual person, always praying and reading her Bible. I wish that I could have been more of a prayerful person."
"Who's to say that you can't? No time like the present. Will you join me in a prayer?"
Joe moved to the chair next to Marilyn and they joined hands. Marilyn began...Father we thank you for this day and all of the blessings that you bring us. We thank you for this fellowship today, for allowing us to carry each other's burdens and share our concerns. We pray that you will hear the prayers of your servants and show us the way to healing and comfort. We love you Father and know that you are a loving God. Light our paths as we wander through this life; show us the way. We know that there is no greater love than yours, and we wait patiently until that day when we can see your loving face. In Jesus' name we pray...Amen."
"Amen," said Joe. "Marilyn, do you think that I could take you to dinner? I mean... I don't want to be presumptuous here..."
"Presumptuous? I asked you out, remember? Joe I'd love to go out with you to dinner, if you don't mind me being a little picky about my food."
"Great," he replied. "You can be as picky as you want as long as we can talk some more. I actually feel good for the first time in a long time because of you. Can we exchange phone numbers; I'd like to be able to call you if I may?"
"Of course," she said as she wrote down her number and email on a sheet of paper. "The best time to call me is probably early morning after I get off shift. I usually try to get my workout in around then before I collapse for the day."
Joe handed his information over to her. "Okay I'll remember that. Here's my info; you can call me anytime."
They stayed a while longer, exchanging small talk and just enjoying each other's company. Marilyn was the first to get up and signal that she had to leave. "I hate to say goodbye Joe, but you know how it is when you work mids. I've got some things to do and I need another nap before I go in tonight. Give me a call when you want to go out, okay?"
"I will." As they left the coffee shop together and walked to her car, he said, "You know Marilyn, my wife was always very comfortable praying in public, whereas I was kind of shy about it. But praying with you today, I didn't feel ill at ease at all."
"That's good to hear," she said. "To tell you the truth, it's only been recently that I've prayed with other people. My friend Leslie taught me that prayer is the best medicine for the soul, and that you should never be ashamed to be seen praying, or to pray with and for others. I've found it to be very comforting."
"I agree. I need to change a lot of things about myself, that's one of them."
Marilyn opened her car door and gave him a hug before she got inside. "Goodbye Joe; I look forward to seeing you again."
"Thanks; I'll call you to set something up. Bye."
On the drive home Joe was still conflicted inside. He felt happy about having met with Marilyn, what a wonderful person she is he thought. But he still felt a twinge of guilt about allowing himself to be in the company of another woman. He remembered what Marilyn had said about Pat wanting him to be happy, and that she was with the Father as well. It made sense, and if he put himself in her place, if it was his death that had happened, he would surely want Pat to be happy here on earth. I need to move on, he said to himself. Maybe this is the time. Maybe Marilyn is the person to heal me. I need to give it a chance, for my sake and hers.
Next:Domestic Problems
Previous: Past Curfew
- Article Word Count: 2025
- |
- Total Views: 88
- |
- permalink