The Baptizing

Everybody in the community had been looking forward to the third Sunday in May at the East Fork Southern Missionary Baptist Church. Of course, the third Sunday of every month was a big day at the East Fork Church because that was "preaching Sunday." The Reverend Sunday James would drive out from Maynardville to do the preaching.

Some said that "Sunday" was a right appropriate name for a preacher. That it was. Some thought he was named for the day of the week, but he wasn't. His mother wanted to have a preacher son, so he was named for evangelist Billy Sunday who she had heard preach once when she was a little girl. The main things Reverend James heard about as a youth were Billy Sunday and how much his mother wanted him to be a preacher like him. And surely enough, with his mother's help, he had felt the "call" when he was ten years old and began preaching in small churches in the area while in his teens. He now served four of these, one Sunday a month at each. His main job was at the chicken plant in Maynardville.

Reverend James would generally arrive about mid-morning. The services would begin with singing by the congregation, after which he would preach for a while. He usually managed to find a stopping place somewhere close to noon. A recess would be called for dinner on the ground prepared by the womenfolk of the church. After dinner, there would be singing by quartets and other groups. Then, Reverend James would preach some more, usually finishing about mid-afternoon. Yes, the third Sunday of the month was always a big day at the East Fork Southern Missionary Baptist Church.

The thing that made May's preaching Sunday so special was the baptizing. Now, a baptizing was not a rare event at the East Fork Church. There would be one every three or four months, and there was sometimes a big one in the summer after the yearly revival meeting. But, the thing that made this one so special was who was going to be baptized.

There were two candidates. Mrs. Pearline Potter was a widow lady who had lived in the community all her life. She had joined the church more than twenty years before, but was not considered a full-fledged member because she had steadfastly refused to be baptized.

She had had a bad experience with water as a little girl. One of her brothers had held her underwater down at the swimming hole on Perkins Creek until she almost drowned. From that episode she developed a mortal fear of any water over six inches deep. Even when she bathed, she wouldn't run over three inches of water in the tub. No, Mrs. Potter couldn't be a full member of the church because she hadn't been "put under the waters." She had long felt this separation and knew that many in the church looked down on her.

Reverend James had made her his special project and had enlisted several women of the church to help him show her the necessity of being baptized and to counsel her in this direction. Although it had taken over a year to make any headway, they remained dedicated to their task. Mrs. Potter had finally come around and had agreed to allow Reverend James to "put her under the waters." A big crowd was expected for the event. Some said there might be as many as a hundred people there not counting the children.
Phinos Ledbetter was a different story. He had drifted in five or six years earlier and was just as likely to drift out most any time. He had thrown up a tarpaper shack on the side of one of the hills on land owned by a big coal company that had no immediate use for it. He cut pulp-wood to eke out a marginal living. Phinos spent most week-ends frequenting the local juke joints and drinking and fighting. His weapon of choice was his chain saw, which he always kept in the cab of his pulpwood truck. The roar of his saw had determined the outcome of many fights as it struck fear in hearts of all within earshot. One juke owner had tried to lock him out when he went out to his truck to get the saw, but Phinos cut the door off its hinges and sawed up two tables and several chairs before he ran out of gas.

But Phinos lived in the community and, true to the church's missionary calling, the men of the church tried to bring him to the Lord. For the longest time he resisted all their overtures. Some he ran off with his chain saw when he was in an especially foul mood. But the fall before, Phinos had been the victim of a rather serious accident. It was a Monday and he was pretty well hung-over from the weekend's activities. This condition caused him to get careless, and about half a load of pulpwood rolled off his truck and over him at the same time. Out of it he got a broken arm and ankle and several cracked ribs, plus an assortment of bumps and bruises. During his recuperation, the families of the church took turns bringing him food and taking care of him. They also now had a captive audience for their witnessing and Phinos could hardly afford to turn a deaf ear. When he got back on his feet, he joined the church and quit drinking. Those who weren't interested in Mrs. Potter were surely eager to see Phinos Ledbetter be "put under the waters."

Now, the East Fork Church house was not a particularly imposing structure. It was a small, white, rectangular building with clapboard sides and a tin roof. There was a center aisle with rows of homemade wooden benches on each side. The pulpit stood on a raised platform at the end opposite the door. Heat was supplied by a wood heater which stood in the midst of the benches on the right side about midway of the building. Although rather stark in appearance, the building seemed to fit the setting and the people who attended.

But, there was one unusual aspect of the little church building. It possessed an indoor baptistery. No other country church in the area had one. This was a luxury usually reserved for the more sophisticated town churches and was a source of pride for the members of East Fork.
It was located in an unusual place--underneath the pulpit. The ground dropped off toward the rear of the church leaving several feet between the floor and the ground. This, coupled with the two-foot elevation of the pulpit platform, gave enough room to install a metal tank. The men ran a pipe down from the spring for water and hooked up a small coal stove to heat the water in cold weather. So, the East Fork Church could baptize year-round. They didn't have to wait for warm weather or find a suitable pond or creek. The men built steps inside the tank at one end. Access was gained by moving the pulpit to one side and opening the double doors in the floor. East Fork folks just knew that the other country churches were envious of their modern baptismal facilities.

To give the baptismal candidates a private place to dry off and change clothes, a wire from which a curtain was hung was stretched from wall to wall just behind the opening in the floor. When not in use, the curtain was drawn back to the walls. A second wire ran from the center of the back wall and joined the first wire at its midpoint. Another curtain pulled along this wire, effectively dividing the rear platform space into two areas--one for men, the other for women.

On this particular Sunday, the baptizing was scheduled immediately after the morning preaching and before dinner. Because of this special event, Reverend James found a good stopping place about 11:30 and announced that it was "time for the baptismal waters to be stirred." The curtains were pulled and the two candidates went to their respective areas to wait. Reverend James went with Phinos to get into his waders. The Deacons moved the pulpit and opened the doors. Everything was ready. The house was packed. Folks said there were more than a hundred people there not counting the children, of course.

Reverend James came out from behind the curtain and descended the steps into the baptistery. After reaching the bottom he turned and extended a hand to Phinos, who was dutifully waiting on the platform. The Reverend was one who liked to preach a little over each candidate, and after getting Phinos into position, he began.

"Brothers and sisters, this here's Brother Phinos Ledbetter. He ain't lived long in these parts, but however long it's been, he's been living in sin. He's been bad to drink and cuss and fight and hang out in juke joints. But Brother Ledbetter has seen the light ..." Reverend James paused dramatically with one arm raised-waiting. And he was not disappointed.

From the congregation came shouts of "Praise the Lord!" "Hallelujah!" and "Amen!" "Brother Ledbetter has done found the Lord!!" Another pause. Other shouts of affirmation came from all over the building.

"Now, I baptize you, Brother Ledbetter, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." He laid Phinos back and under the water and then up again in a continuous motion. It went off without a hitch.

Phinos sloshed back up the steps and into his area behind the curtain to change out of his wet clothes.
Reverend James called for Mrs. Potter, who came from behind the curtain with some reluctance. Noting this, he came halfway up the steps and offered his hand to reassure and steady her. She set her jaw and resolved to see it through. Her descent was slow as she paused on each step. But, she did get to the bottom and into position.
Reverend James began, "Brothers and sisters, y'all know Sister Pearline."

"SPLOT!" Phinos' shirt hit the hardwood floor.
"Sister Pearline found the Lord many years ago, but she just ain't been complete 'cause she ain't been under the waters."

"SPLOT!" Louder this time as Phinos' pants followed the shirt. "But today Sister Pearline is gonna be made complete!" Pause.

"Praise the Lord!" "Hallelujah!" "Bless you sister!"
"Now, I baptize you, Sister Pearline, in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost." As Reverend James began to lay her back, Mrs. Potter's water phobia took control. She screamed and began to kick and thrash about wildly with her arms to keep her head above water. Her hands were searching for anything that she could use to pull herself up. Unfortunately, they found the bottom of the curtain. The sudden strain of Mrs. Potter's pulling caused the wire to snap, destroying all the privacy Phinos had enjoyed a few seconds earlier.

When the curtain fell, Phinos was standing facing the congregation trying to remove his boxer shorts which at that time were in a roll around his knees. A look of terror came over his face as he tried vainly to pull them back up. When the wet fabric did not respond, he jumped straight up and turned to the rear wall, effectively mooning the entire congregation. He was looking for a place to hide or a way to escape, but found neither. There was no rear door, and a glance to either side presented no route of departure. He hopped back around and faced the congregation with his arms crossed over his more private areas.

Reverend James did not realize what was happening with Phinos. He had his hands full with Mrs. Potter, who by this time had dragged a goodly portion of the curtain into the baptistery and was engaged in entangling both herself and Reverend James in its folds.

The instant he got turned back to the front, Phinos spied the only available refuge. He took a couple of shuffling steps and dived head first into the baptistery.
Her struggle with the water was bad enough, but when Mrs. Potter saw a naked man come diving in with her, she went into even wilder hysterics.

Finally, overcoming their shock, several members rushed forward and managed to get a hold on Mrs. Potter and drag her up the steps and onto the platform. However, it was several minutes before she quit screaming and spitting up water.

Phinos wrapped himself in a panel or two of the wet curtains and exited the baptistery without exposing himself any further. Several of the men took him down into the edge of the woods and helped him get dried off and put some dry clothes on. However, they could not persuade him to stay and eat dinner. He said he wasn't about to eat with a bunch of people who'd just been looking at all his private parts.

They let him go on home, but the Deacons thought that somebody from the church should visit him and apologize and try to mend some fences. So a delegation of four or five Deacons tried to do just that the next day. They waited until late in the afternoon after they thought he'd be through cutting pulpwood for the day. However, when they got to Phinos' shack, it was obvious that he'd not worked that day, but had fallen back into the clutches of Demon Rum, or at least one of its close relatives. Probably some moonshine from over in Jakeleg Hollow.

Phinos did not receive them with any warmth. In fact, he started cussing them as they were getting out of their trucks. He told them that he never wanted to see anyone ever again from the East Fork Southern Missionary Baptist Church, and that if anyone else from the church ever came around him again, he'd take his chain saw and saw the church building down to the ground. They felt sure he meant it, and they beat a hasty retreat when he got his saw out and started gassing it up. The Deacons took Phinos' message back to the rest of the members and nobody from the church ever visited him again.

As for Mrs. Potter, she got a lot of attention during the dinner. The womenfolk were hugging her and telling her how glad they were that she was now a full member. But some dissent arose. Some of the members said that her baptizing didn't count because she'd never been "put under the waters."

Seeing the beginning of disharmony, the Deacons called a meeting right after dinner and went out into the woods to discuss and settle the issue before the afternoon services began. There were Deacons on both sides of the issue but, finally, old Brother Ludlow Sartain cleared his throat and asked for the floor. "Fellows, don't none of us know if all of Sister Pearline ever got under the water all at the same time or not. Only the Lord knows all of what happened in that water this morning. But, I do know this. When she was dragged out, there weren't nothing on her or about her that weren't wet going from the hair on her head down to the tips of her toes. And from as much water as I seen her spit up, I'd say she swallowed enough holy water to baptize a normal size person. So, unless somebody knows for shore, I'd say we don't need to be splitting no hairs with the Lord, and I say we count it."

The rest of the Deacons agreed, and this was announced at the beginning of the afternoon services, accompanied by much shouting and rejoicing.

Later on in the week, several of the Deacons went into Maynardville to inform Reverend James about what had happened with Phinos Ledbetter. They were waiting for him when he finished his shift at the chicken plant. After hearing their report, he kind of walked around in a little circle thinking about what he'd just heard, while absent-mindedly picking chicken feathers off his clothing. Finally he spoke.

"Brothers, we all know that the Lord works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform. We also know that half a loaf is better than none, and this may mean that one out of two ain't all that bad. So, I say we just rejoice with Sister Pearline and let the Lord see to Brother Ledbetter." And so they did.

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