Commitment phobia in handwriting

  • Print Article |
  • Send to a Friend |
  • |
  • Add to Google |

Like laziness, commitment-phobia is not difficult to find around us. Very few people know that the term, which refers to avoidance of long-term partnership and/or marriage, was coined in the popular self-help book, Men Who Can't Love, in 1987. But Following criticisms of the perceived sexist idea that only men were commitment phobic, the authors provided a more gender balanced model of commitment phobia in a later work, He's Scared, She's Scared.

Commitment phobia is a great stumbling block as far as relationships are concerned. Being in a relationship with a commitment-phobic is similar to driving a vehicle in neutral. The relationship hardly moves forward. Generally, commitment-phobic people say they want a lasting romantic attachment, but they fail. Ironically, in these romantic relationships, the commitment-phobic partner seeks what he/she fears most: love and connection. This paradoxical hunger creates a dreadful reality.

Hear this short story: Priya and Sameer, both in their late 30s, were going steady for about 10 years. But they frequently fought. They were quarrelling even when they came to meet me. Sameer’s complaint: Priya has been postponing their marriage. Priya’s grievance: he has been insisting on tying the knot before she “settles” in her career. Sameer thought she was pretty “settled” as a senior manager with an MNC. When I looked at their handwriting samples, I found Priya was commitment-phobic.

I will tell you in a while what I saw in Priya’s handwriting. But let’s have a few more words on commitment phobia, also known as a fear of lost options or fear of making poor decisions. The commitment-phobic mind sees decisions as permanent, opening the possibility of being caged or trapped forever with no means of escape. This fear can make simple every day decisions into a tremendous burden. Often, commitment-phobics are prone to self-destructive behavior, such as walking out on partners without notice.

Commitment by forceOne potentially misleading aspect of commitment-phobic behavior is that the partner who is actively running away from commitment is not the only one with a problem. In fact, commitment-phobic behavior includes "settling" for inappropriate partners, pursuing unattainable partners, and engaging in instant relationship mergers as well as fleeing from what might have appeared to be a stable romance. Any persistent behavior that actively prevents a person from making a commitment or allows a person to make excuses for not having made a commitment can be considered commitment-phobic.

Bart Baggett, president of Handwriting University International, USA, says: “You may even be living together, but still you are missing that sense of initiation that comes with truly knowing that the person is committed to you with all his/her heart and soul. When you try to bring the subject of taking your relationship to the next level, your partner behaves as if discussing a future with you is not that important.”

long-ending strokesCaution or commitment phobia in handwriting is often represented as a long dash that streaks out from the end of a lower case a, e or c. These little strokes forward almost resemble "roadblocks" that give the writer time to pause and assess the situation before he or she makes a move.

Bart points out: “If your partner displays this trait, then there is a chance that he or she is probably just cautious in all aspects of her life and the hold-up may not be something personal to do with you. The person may just need time to process and analyze their feelings than others. Usually, this is because they have been hurt before.”

----------

For more articles on handwriting analysis, visit www.writechoice.co.in

Rate this Article:
  • Article Word Count: 618
  • |
  • Total Views: 108
  • |
  • permalink
  • Print Article |
  • Send to a Friend |
  • |
  • Add to Google |
>