Should I Get a Divorce? Signs That It Is Time to Call It Quits

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Whoever said "Life is a bed of roses" probably wasn't married. Marriage isn't an easy thing to deal with, whether it's good or bad. That makes it all the more difficult when there is a problem in the marriage and one or both of the spouses are contemplating divorce. But, when is it right to get a divorce? Are there any signs that you should call your marriage quits?

Some problems are normal for any marriage but there are other problems that tell you it's time to get out, and fast. That said, the decision to file a divorce is never something that should be made in haste. It's something that should be thought through clearly, and thoroughly.

Is your spouse supporting a habit? This could be anything from drugs, to abusive behavior, to being a pathological liar. If you are in this situation, this could be endangering you and any family that is with you. Don't expect the person to change their habits; it's up to you to take charge of your own life.

Do you have a trusting relationship with your spouse? Trust is the underlying support of a marriage, one that can see a person through tough times. But if you cannot talk to your spouse for any reason, especially because of fear, it's a sign that the marriage could be in trouble.

Are you standing up for your spouse? Let's make it clear that supporting someone's choices is not the same as making excuses for the person. Support makes you both stronger; the excuses make you the whipping boy of choice. But if you constantly show contempt for your partner or just dismiss them as being unimportant, you're a high risk for getting a divorce. If you don't actively try to resolve your conflicts, then you're past caring for your marriage.

Are you avoiding problems in your relationship? If one or the other partner distances themselves from important issues that can affect the marriage, then it's a warning sign. If one of the spouses gives up solving or shies away from the problems that can mean they are no longer interested.

You aren't interested in sex. Or maybe you both stop having that need for an intimate connection; your marriage is headed towards divorce or one of convenience if you are not affectionate with each other anymore.

If your marriage is showing one or more of the signs, it's time for a reality check. Apart from the first sign, is divorce the only answer to your problems? Ask yourself if there is any way that the marriage can still be salvaged. Once you have that niggling feeling of doubt, stop. Slow down and evaluate your present circumstances because there are more than just you at stake.

You have your lifestyle, your career, your finances, and your children. Then there are the costs to getting divorced and living on your own, possibly supporting your children as well. Then there's the sparkling status change of being single again, that can put you in danger of sexually transmitted diseases, whether you want to date or not.

If you find more cons than pros on that list, then it's still not too late. You can visit a marriage counselor for help or go to someone that you both trust to help you mediate and thresh out your issues. After all of this, if the issues are still not answered or a spouse is avoiding the problem, then perhaps divorce would be your only, and best, option.

Ricky Dean is a professional article writer for Dinosauric.com. For more articles and divorce tips, visit www.dinosauric.com/home-and-family/divorce-and-separation.

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