You Lost Him At Hello

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 13:05:41 EST

What do you think shuts a man down shortly afterbeing together a while? Do you rack your brain mulling over whether itwas something you said or, did? When it goes awry, not knowing leavesyou feeling rejected, not appreciated, and misunderstood.

Wealready know that men and women are wired differently. The struggleclearly lies in not knowing how to delicately relay the feelings youare having without setting off alarms that makes him bolt like arooster in a small confining pen.

Does the cosmos hold a secretas to what makes a man want to listen, open up about his feelings andtruly understand a woman? NOPE. Men are not like windows and, eighttimes out of ten, will not communicate the way you would like and needthem to. And because of this, we talk even more, over-compensate,nurture and love him beyond ... beyond and, he just keeps locking thatdang window.

What is the answer?

We freak out because mendo not understand us. But, it could be we just don't get them. Tryingto get a man to know/show how he feels and what he wants in arelationship before he even had a chance to enjoy the great connectionyou just discovered together is like putting a nail in a coffin. We alldo it unconsciously because it's what girls do. How you share what youfeel and think about him while you are together will make a bigdifference.

What it all boils down to is you do something to killthat intense attraction that drew him to you in the first place. Thisleads him to shut down and begin to question whether you are the rightwoman he wants to be with.

I know ... right now you are saying, "No I don't!" Answer this question honestly though.

Doyou talk, feel, and act with a man you think "is the one" like you arealready in a committed relationship with him - before he has evendeveloped those feelings himself?

When your expectations of himare the kind a woman who is in an actual long-term committedrelationship IS having, and he is not there yet - it is a deal killerfor any man. Women go into autopilot and fantasize straight out of thegate when the right man comes along, especially when the connection isgreat, the chemistry is sizzling, and as time goes by you fall into anice groove of spending time together. Women rationalize they arealready a couple. They want to play house right away and envision aCinderella wedding when commitment to the man in their life is just aword found in Webster's.

Having him do the pursuing and askingfor a more serious relationship will happen when you project yourselfas a woman who is independent, full of life, not expecting commitmentand not acting like the needy, clingy type, already setting up homelike a married couple and making plans way too far into the future.

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You Lost Him At Hello