Finding Strength in the Face of Adversity

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Are you overcome with fear about money, global warming and all of the other disasters that are happening to good people right now? Do you sometimes think it is unfair that adversity strikes even when you aren't looking for it and certainly don't deserve it?

Well, I have news for you. Life is unfair. Rain does fall on the just and the unjust. Disasters strike the good and the bad. Life happens after you have made your plans. You will get lots of sticks thrown at you in life, but you can learn to use them to build a better future.

Resilient is the ability to spring back quickly into shape from setbacks. It is being able to recover and bounce back after adversity.


Be A Bounce Back Person

In my work as a parent educator and family coach, I see many people who were raised in extreme poverty, abuse and adverse conditions and they seem to be able to bounce back from adversity. They seem to gain strength and courage from an inner optimism and a persistence to go forward. Those who have a lot of "heart" and "can do spirit" recognize that life sometimes hands you a stick and you need to use it to build a bridge to where you want to go.

Resilience is not just the absence of negative or pessimistic attitude; it is presence of hope and faith. You can do it. I have confidence in your ability to see things will get better one way or another.

Attitudes Shaped in Childhood

How we adapt to life or our attitude is usually shaped in childhood and modeled after someone who has influenced us in our formative years as well as our natural bent or personality. If we saw some members of the family give up easily or rail against change, we either decided to follow suit or be the opposite. To please parents and other important adults, most children try hard to be good and receive approval, not bad with punishment or discipline. However, as adults this thinking can cause problems. Because even if you are "good" and hardworking you still lose your job when the company closes. Even if you are a good husband your wife still may choose to be unfaithful and ask for a divorce.

Resilient People Expect Change and know that Challenges are Part of Life

Those who are able to bounce back from adversity are driven not so much by fear and trying to please everybody all the time, but a deep sense of integrity and moral guidance. Frequently it may affect you, but you did not cause it nor ask for it. It just is.

What makes a problem or situation positive or negative is what you do with it. Resiliency is the ability to keep stacking those sticks again and again, when life hands them to you, until a bridge is built. You just keep trying a new way, something different and regrouping.

Affirmations to build resiliency: Say these out loud or in your mind, many times a day

I am a strong person and I will bounce back

I am a creative person and will figure out a solution

I have gone through bad situations before and came out okay

This too shall pass

What can I learn from this?

There is a lesson here for me

Will this matter that much in ten years?

Judy H. Wright is a parent educator, family coach, and personal historian who has written more than 20 books, hundreds of articles and speaks internationally on family issues, including end of life. You are invited to visit our blog at www.AskAuntieArtichoke.com for answers and suggestions which will enhance your relationships. You will also find a full listing of free tele-classes and radio shows held each Thursday just for you at www.ArtichokePress.com.

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