Sonovaabiktch!
My favourite cuss word. That's the expletive I use and misuse the most.
I rarely skip an opportunity to let this extraordinary combination of
letters zip through my lips. The cadence of this
combined-for-convenience chain is musical and it ends with a powerful
screeching thrust — quite masculine, I would say. However, sometimes I
misuse it and squander away the scrumptious string on people for whom I
should be using slimier words of the same family, such as… Ahem! Leave
it. Let's not get abusive here.
The
way I misuse the musical combination at times, several people abuse the
word “cool” when they indiscriminately say, “She/he is soooo coooool!”,
thereby giving birth to plenty of icebergs around us. Not that I catch
cold when I realise I am surrounded by a pool of “cool” fools, but I
think that the application of this word is inappropriate more often
than not. How can someone who just appears cool can be called
cool.
In most cases, “cool” is misused. I'm not saying most people have
got their semantics wrong; it’s just that they are too lazy to look for
a better term to qualify some traits and therefore make the word
overwork.
So, who is
cool? Mr James who wears Hilfiger t-shirt, Gucci perfume, Nike cap and
always drives sports bikes? Not necessarily. Then it must be the cad
who uses oral muscles to the fullest when he proclaims, “Aaaama keeewwl guaaye, beibayh!”
(Ouch! That really twisted my facial muscles.) Is the cad “cool”? I
don't know and I ain't sure about you either. So, let's pick on someone
who is famous. How about Aamir Khan? He has been referred to as a
“kewl” guy. But is he really “cool”? We'll find out.
Just before we get there, I want to tell you why I have chosen to talk about people who are really cool.
They add fun to our lives because in their company, we can be
ourselves. They make us feel comfortable and we open up. Such people
help us improve upon our spontaneity. While dealing with them, we don’t
feel like walking on eggshells.
For this
article, Aamir Khan is our guinea pig because we all at least know the
actor and we call him “cool”. So, let’s talk about what will happen if
Aamir is a part of our personal lives and becomes our friend, partner
or lover. Heck, do I need to tell you that you will become a celebrity?
Secondly, you will have lots of money. And third, your personal life
will be a little messy because you will soon know that the actor is
actually not as “cool” as you thought he is.
See
his handwriting. Notice the loops in t’s and d’s. These loops are
indicative of extreme sensitivity. Such a person gets hurt easily.
That’s what I mean by walking on eggshells. With a friend, partner or
lover like him, you will always have to be very very very cautious about the words you use. Without risking a nice evening or an
entire day, you cannot tell him that his opinion on certain things are
wrong or the way he does things need improvement. Over every negative
comment, he will get defensive and would enter into an argument. Use of
even one careless word would hurt him badly.
This carefulness would
hack your spontaneity and even if you have something very important to
tell him, you will not be sure whether you should because you don’t
know how he would react. So, you will think it's more sensible to
dissemble your feelings. The situation won’t be that easy. If he gets
to know you had hidden something, he will get mad at you, scream,
shout... Because of his sensitivity, an interpersonal relationship
cannot be possible without plenty of bruises. So, it's really gonna be
tricky. You will have to approve of every thing he does. If you don't
be ready to fight. Is that cool?
For
me, a cool person (it’s not a definition, ok?) is someone with whom I
don’t have to be too careful about what I say; I don’t need to dilute
every word I use. A cool person is someone you can crack jokes with and
even if you crack jokes on him, he should not feel bad. But if the
person I am dealing with has a loopy writing (like Aamir's), he may not
protest immediately if you ridicule him, but he will get back at you
later. Definitely. Mostly when you least expect it. A healthy
relationship is when you can agree and disagree with your partner
without compromising on your own individuality, opinion and stand.
Let me tell
you a small story to illustrate the point. I have a friend whose height
is about 5 feet. By normal standards, he can be called short and he was
very conscious of his low height. Anyone who made him feel small about
himself would fill him with utter resentment. Everyone in our friend
circle knew that, but there was this funny girl who would just not stop
messing with him.
She used to call him teeny-weeny. My friend felt
extremely bad. He never told her that, but he used to share his
feelings with me. The girl was not a vicious person; she was a little bindaas, carefree
and outspoken. I knew she did not want to demean him by calling him
teeny-weeny. I told him not to take her comments so seriously. But he
would retort, saying I was being callous because she never said
anything to me.
Soon,
that day came. At that time, I used to be lanky. So one day when both
of us walked into a small restaurant where our gang of friends was
meeting, she said in a rather loud voice: “Here come Mr Teeny-Weeny and
his friend Mr Tall Tree.” I smiled and without wasting a moment shot
back: “How about spending a night under me, birdie? You can stand there
all night and if you like, we may choose to call it a one-night stand.”
History is evident she never forgot my name after that.
Well, as far
as I know, my retort did not emanate from any resentment. She said
something, I said something. That's it. I do not care what people think
of the way I look. But my friend was very sensitive about his looks,
which was reflected by the loops in his d's. He would appear "cool"
because he never protested. He never got into arguments. But though he
seemed cool to others, he was like a furnace inside, burning himself
every moment, waiting for the right time to hit back. That ain't cool.
No way.
By
now, many people who are reading this would have realised they have
loops in their d's and t's. Well, my attempt here is not to vilify
them. They can be great friends and I can vouch for it. But their
desire for a stable and peaceful relationship is driven by their need
for praise and approval.
They are terribly hurt people. They are
wounded by people around them. Their sensitivity is just a defence
mechanism. If you have loops in the two letters, take them out. The
removal will make you feel better like nothing else. It will make you
stop being sensitive to negative comments.
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