Saying “No”

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It's sometimes correctly pointed out that "saying yes is easy, saying no is a skill" ... and an important skill. People without that skill tend to be overloaded with requests and assignments, and continuously overworked, doing low-quality job and missing deadlines. So, when wanting to say "no", you should do so without feeling guilty.

There are some reasons of why saying "no" may be better than saying "yes":

* First of all, time is a limited resource and perhaps your most valuable asset. You can earn money later on, but you never get back the time spent for doing things that you really do not like and that do not fit with your goals at all. When saying "yes" to one thing, the opportunity cost is not having time to do another thing. And conversely: when saying "no" to unimportant, you will be able to devote to the important. Here it should be remembered that having time for yourself in order to maintain your production capacity is not something of secondary importance.

* Furthermore, when accepting a task for which you do not have time or which is not at all motivating for you, you do not only waste your time, but also the time of the ones counting on you. This is because you either will make a mediocre job, miss deadline, or just are delaying the moment of saying "no".

* Saying "yes" to the unimportant (from your very personal perspective) is likely to harm relationships: you will hate yourself because of accepting the task, you will hate the one forced you to do it (and according to psychologist, 60% of antipathy is two-way), you do not have time for your loved ones, you are likely to be angry with those not at all related to the given topic - just because you feel stressed.

How to do it? I believe, instead of fabricating some kind of excuses (like "I have other commitments", "Things have come up that need my attention" or "I'm not the most qualified person for the job"), or just delaying the answer (by saying e.g. "Let me think about it and get back to you", although also this may be an option when you really need to rethink), the truth is the best and the most honest way to turn down a friend, family member, co-worker. The reasons given above are good enough. Just say: "No, I just can't right now," and give a simple explanation if you wish to. In that way, you clearly tell the other that your mind is made up and that you will not change it. When wanting to soften your "no" a preface in style "I understand what you are saying" could help.

So much about theory; the next step is to apply it in practice. The first application suggestion could be to use "No" as a standard answer to everything within the coming two days. When having this skill, you will have the possibility to find the point of your existence again.

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