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At this point K. stopped. I remember a childlike look of hope in her eyes as she sat there waiting for my response. It seemed she was trying to convince both herself and me that that's all it really was, ‘just a haircut'. I knew as a Psychologist, Life Coach and Marriage Counselor that it was not just a ‘hair-cut'. There is unfortunately no easy way of telling someone that.

Do the both of you, do you think, want to try to make the relationship work? I asked her. I needed to see how much, if any, motivation was still left with K. and her estranged husband long experience. “I, I just don’t know. I mean I want to try to make it work, it’s what’s best for the kids I think.” She answered me. I listened to what she DID NOT SAY; she did not mention HERSELF. I then new that K. was not yet ready… Another process had to be called for, prior to ant Marriage Counseling attempt.

As a Psychologist I started thinking objectively. What are the real issues occurring here? My client of course was agitated and feeling despair about the whole situation but what was the underlying cause for it all, I wondered. After a little more counseling time with N. it became obvious to me that the biggest issue for HER was the issue of trust. Trust is of course key in any relationship. But what was HIS issue?